So It Goes

One of the most difficult things about blogging is the transparency involved. I started this blog as a way to reach out to people but to also hold myself accountable. If I'm putting it out there for everyone to read, then I'm going to be more consious of what I'm doing. Right?

So what happens when I completely fall of the wagon like I did last week? I'll tell you what, no blog. Because this blog is all about honesty, how could I blog about my diet and leave out the fact that I was eating all kinds of badness? It's much easier to share my triumphs than it is to share my failures and guilt. However, hiding from it isn't going to make it better. It isn't going to go away.

People fail. No matter their best intentions, they fail. There will always be circumstances outside of our control that can put a serious damper on our goals. My falling off the wagon isn't due to a lack of committment. It's due to a circumstance I didn't have any control over.

As most of you who have read this blog know, I suffer from bipolar disorder. That means I take two different medications to cope with my disease. I've been doing pretty well. My quality of life has improved exponentially on the medication. So imagine the suprise and horror when my hair started falling out. I mean, lots of hair. I run my hand through my hair and it come out in clumps. Fortunately for me, I inherited my dad's super thick Mexican hair which means I don't have bald spots. However, my hair has seriously thinned out. (Ok, thin for me. I still have a lot more hair than many other people.) If they could guarantee that I wouldn't lose anymore hair I'd be happy with what I have. For the first time in my life, my hair is completely managable but I know that's just wishful thinking. My hair is going to keep falling out unless I change my medication.

So, my doc is weaning me off the med. Which isn't fun. At all. I've been cycling like crazy, pun intended, and the depression has been horrible. Remember the black hole in my chest that I mentioned in my youtube video? That has made a very strong reappearance and I spent last week feeding it to the tune of gaining 2 pounds.

The good news is, I got my act together. I realized what was happening. I started back on Atkins Monday and I've lost 5 1/2 pounds. That brings me down to 222.2 lbs. It's been a few years since I've been this small. :)

Being back on the wagon feels good.

So what's the moral of the story? Even when we fail, it doesn't mean that we stop trying. Failure isn't an end. It's only part of the journey. We can't let it keep us down.

I hope this blog finds you well.

Thank you to all of the people who have been giving me such wonderful support.

~Amy