How It Goes

Hello, happy readers. The holidays are upon us. That means Christmas is almost here. That just asks for a big giant SQUEEE! LOL

Christmas defintely brings out my inner child. The shopping, the music, the decorated tree, the lights, and the presents. Not getting presents but giving presents. I love to give people presents. Which makes being broke during the holidays that much more difficult. If I had my way, I would have a big Christmas bash with lots of food, gifts and people that I love.

I just love the spirit of the holiday. People are different. I don't mean the pepper spraying black Friday shoppers variety. I mean people are more joyful and giving. People use this time of year to give back. Whether it's donating money or clothes to charity or volunteering at their local soup kitchen. They're much more pleasant all around.

You hear the saying, Tis the season. For giving, for sharing, for loving one another. But if you think about it, shouldn't we have the holiday attitude year round? Thanksgiving is for being grateful and Christmas is a day of giving.

So why is it we only emphasize this attitude of thankfulness and giving at the end of the year? Shouldn't we count God's many blessing year round? Shouldn't we give of ourselves and be joyful January through December?

In other news, I start my first real job since I don't know when tomorrow. Suffice to say I was floored when I was offered the job. Truth be told, I thought I was tanking it. I haven't been in a job interview for years. It's a seasonal position at Sephora. I'm hoping that they keep me on after the New Year but I'm just thankful for that I was able to get anything.

I hope all is well with you, my readers. I promise that I'll be posting more regularly.

A belated Happy Thanksgiving to you all,

Amy

Day One Down

So I've gone through the day and managed to stay within my 20 carb limit. I managed to not eat any of the biscuits I made for the kids. (They ate what I ate so I needed to give them some carbs.)

I ate pretty well today.
Breakfast: scrambled sausage and eggs. Coffee with cream and splenda.
Lunch: Spring mix salad with some extra spinach. sliced cucumbers, and mozzerella cheese with ceasar dressing. diet green tea.
Dinner: Grilled chicken with alfredo sauce and green beans sauted with onions in butter. diet green tea.
Snack: 2 oz of colby jack cheese.

I'm taking this one day at a time. I know I can do it for a day. It's only a day, right? Then they begin to add up. Suddenly, you're at a week, then a month. Then one day, you've reached at year. Yeah, AA knows what it's talking about. One day at a time.

Loves to you all.

Amy

Induction.. Again

So today is the day. Starting the who low carb/induction thing again. I was going to say I hope this works but that is completely the wrong attitude. What I am going to say is that I'm going to make this work.

This medication is kicking my rear end. All I want to do is eat. I've gained 15 pounds in the past several months. That's after losing 20. Going low carb will let me eat a lot of things without depriving myself of food.

I have to lose this weight. My doctor told me I'm disgustingly healthy. The only thing wrong with me is I'm overweight. I don't want to develop weight related illnesses.

I appreciate all of the support that people are showing. As my facebook friends know, I have a lot going on right now. I'm sure the stress has contributed to the whole eating thing.

I'll keep you all updated on how things are going. All of you take care. Love you lots.

Amy

So I Am Alive. Really, I am.

Blogging is so much harder than it looks. Especially when you have no internet. Ha ha.

So what have I been up to? Not much worth blogging about. Except I lost 20 lbs. Then gained 15 back. lol. Yeah. I'm on a new med that makes me eat. And eat. So that shot the french way of eating thing I talk about in my last blog. That's all about portion control.

So my darling mother-in-law suggested I go back to low carbing it. It's a very filling way eating. Hopefully, it fills me up enough that I don't just keep eating. That begins Monday. I'll keep you all updated.

My Hair Was Falling Out

As some of you know, I suffer from bipolar disorder. I recently had to go off one of my meds and go on a new one. My hair was falling out. I would run my fingers through my hair and it would come out at the roots in chunks. If I didn’t have my daddy’s thick, Mexican hair, I’d be a bald lady.

It’s been a trial. I’ve been depressed because of the med switch and some things going on in my personal life. My hair is no longer falling out but my new med is an appetite encourager. It makes me want to eat all the wrong things. People have gotten diabetes off of this drug because of the eating. Dangerous, I know.

So I’ve been eating and gaining back weight. I’m not happy about this, I’m sure you can imagine. As a result, I’ve decided to adapt. In my situation, Atkins is too strict for me. Depriving myself of foods I want to eat isn’t working. I have several friends who have recently lost a massive amount of weight from doing Atkins and they look fantastic. I'm happy for them. I believe in the diet, it's just not for me at this time.

So I’m going to go the French/Mediterranean way of eating route. It’s still a full fat diet, but it’s much more inclusive. The emphasis is more on smaller portions and real food. One thing I don’t like about Atkins is the focus on processed, fake foods make by the Atkins company.

I’ll be blogging more about this style of eating as I go along but I will say now that I love the emphasis on fresh foods; lots of nuts, cheeses, veggies, fruits, chicken, (oxford comma ftw) and fish. It’s a similar approach but much more wholesome.

I hope you stick with me on my journey to health. I appreciate all of your support and I'll be blogging soon.

Much love and hugs,
Amy

So It Goes

One of the most difficult things about blogging is the transparency involved. I started this blog as a way to reach out to people but to also hold myself accountable. If I'm putting it out there for everyone to read, then I'm going to be more consious of what I'm doing. Right?

So what happens when I completely fall of the wagon like I did last week? I'll tell you what, no blog. Because this blog is all about honesty, how could I blog about my diet and leave out the fact that I was eating all kinds of badness? It's much easier to share my triumphs than it is to share my failures and guilt. However, hiding from it isn't going to make it better. It isn't going to go away.

People fail. No matter their best intentions, they fail. There will always be circumstances outside of our control that can put a serious damper on our goals. My falling off the wagon isn't due to a lack of committment. It's due to a circumstance I didn't have any control over.

As most of you who have read this blog know, I suffer from bipolar disorder. That means I take two different medications to cope with my disease. I've been doing pretty well. My quality of life has improved exponentially on the medication. So imagine the suprise and horror when my hair started falling out. I mean, lots of hair. I run my hand through my hair and it come out in clumps. Fortunately for me, I inherited my dad's super thick Mexican hair which means I don't have bald spots. However, my hair has seriously thinned out. (Ok, thin for me. I still have a lot more hair than many other people.) If they could guarantee that I wouldn't lose anymore hair I'd be happy with what I have. For the first time in my life, my hair is completely managable but I know that's just wishful thinking. My hair is going to keep falling out unless I change my medication.

So, my doc is weaning me off the med. Which isn't fun. At all. I've been cycling like crazy, pun intended, and the depression has been horrible. Remember the black hole in my chest that I mentioned in my youtube video? That has made a very strong reappearance and I spent last week feeding it to the tune of gaining 2 pounds.

The good news is, I got my act together. I realized what was happening. I started back on Atkins Monday and I've lost 5 1/2 pounds. That brings me down to 222.2 lbs. It's been a few years since I've been this small. :)

Being back on the wagon feels good.

So what's the moral of the story? Even when we fail, it doesn't mean that we stop trying. Failure isn't an end. It's only part of the journey. We can't let it keep us down.

I hope this blog finds you well.

Thank you to all of the people who have been giving me such wonderful support.

~Amy

What I Need From You

As some of you know, for the past couple of years, I've been making cakes out of my house. For various reasons, that business has had to go the way of the Vikings, into the mists of history. This is something I find very disappointing since I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears in that business. I love the creativity that I was able to pour into cake decorating. If you've ever seen some of those boutique quality cakes, you know that sugar art is a legitimate art.

I cried when I finally made the decision to let it go. However, in the long run, it's the right thing. With all of the weight I have to lose, having yummy baked goods in the house isn't the best of ideas. I'm a big believer in quality control and I have to sample what I produce before I can pass it on to the customer. A tiny taste isn't going to hurt but I'm not exactly in a place where I can take those small tastes and stop there. I have a friend who makes those previously mentioned boutique quality cakes while losing a substantial amount of weight. I admire her will and fortitude in being able to run a successful cake business while sticking to her guns when it comes to her weightloss. (Nori, you are a goddess.)

So what now? I have all of this creative energy that needs an outlet. Through a series of events, I've finally settled on something that allows the creativity to flow and hopefully allows me to make money. I've begun making hair accessories out of fabric, flowers and the like. I'm also learning how make my own headbands to put those flowers on. I'd eventually like to branch out into scarves, handbags and fabric belts. All to be sold on etsy (violerwhimsy.etsy.com) and eventually in my own online shop and other retail stores. As my mom always told me, if you're going to dream, dream big.

Which leads me to my request. I plan to make many of my products using upcycled material. Upcycling is using previously made clothes and remaking them into something new. It could be into another article of clothing, fabric flowers, totes, quilting pieces, etc. This promotes enviromental sustainablity while helping to keep costs down. Not to say that I'll make everything out of upcycled clothing but I love the idea of taking the old and making it into the new.

So what I am asking is that if you have any clothes you no longer need or want. Maybe even sheets, fabric table cloths, or curtains that you no longer use, just taking up space. I would be greatly appreciative of any donations that you could send my way. Just understand that they will more than likely be cut up and made into someting to be sold.

Even if you don't have anything to donate (or the inclination), just the moral support I've been recieving is so so sooo appreciated.

Sorry for the break in blogging. I'll do an update on the weightloss shortly.

Have a wonderful evening and enjoy the rest of your week.

~Amy

Plan Your Cheats

Tomorrow is Memorial Day and we're supposed to go a big cookout. There's going to be lots of food there. Lots and lots of carb laden foods. Here's the thing, I would like to go and have a good time with my friends. It's very easy to do mindless things when you're having a good time. If you're going to a party, potluck, shower, wedding, holiday, etc., you need to plan ahead of time.

Will you be cheating? If the answer is no, then there are a few things you can do.
*Eat before and not eat there, you really have to stick to your guns though. Or you can take a diet friendly snack.
*You can ask the hostess what's on the menu. Find out if there will be food that you can eat. If you're low carbing it and it's a pasta party and pasta is your weakness, I'd gracefully bow out unless you have nerves of steel. I mean of the Superman variety.
*Ask if you can bring a dish that caters to your dietary needs if you really want to go. That lessens the burden on the hostess.
*If it's a potluck, take food you can eat. Potlucks tend to have lots of starchy foods so you have to be careful.

If you will be cheating...
*If you're going to your Grandma's house and she makes the worlds bestest mac n cheese EVER, it's not going to hurt you to have some mac n cheese. Emphasis is on some. If your Aunt Ruthie makes out of this world apple pie, have a small, very small, piece.
*You may be going someplace and have no idea what may tempt you so you can limit yourself to a couple of things.
*You can do what I plan to do and have a spoonful (an eating spoon, not a serving spoon) of whatever tickles my fancy and eat slowly. I'll also be sure to eat lots of protein to help keep my blood sugar stable.**

Here's the thing. Food is not something to be conquered. Yes, I have a lot of weight to lose. Yes, there are things I should not be eating. We Americans have such a bad relationship with food. Food is to nourish us but it's also a joy. A meal around the dinner table with the family, a dinner party among friends, the celebration of a marriage or a baby, the coming together after a death... Food is apart of life. When you accept that and see it for what it is, you can learn to relate to it in the right context.

So what happens if you go crazy and eat everything in sight? At the worst you wake up the next morning with a food hangover, feeling bloated and like doggy poo. It doesn't mean you've failed. It means you've made a mistake. Don't beat yourself up. Don't hate yourself for it. We make mistakes. The key is to learn from them. Being healthy isn't static, it's an ongoing pursuit. Even healthy, skinny people make mistakes.

~Amy

** One of the purposes of Atkins is to stabilize the blood sugar to get off the carbohydrate rollercoaster and prevent diabetes.

Truth Be Told...

... I haven't started to exercise. I promised I'd be honest about all of this so there it is. I haven't started.

It's all so overwhelming. I'm the point person on the food. I do all of the menu planning. It isn't easy. It's more than throwing some meat on the grill and a side salad. I'm trying to keep it from being monotonous. Do you want to eat the same thing everyday? I don't and Steve really doesn't. He gets bored very quickly when it comes to food.

So I have to keep it from being boring, keep it within our daily carb count plus I have to keep it affordable. I've been scouring the internet for recipes. The Atkins website has many, many recipes but they're not all our cup of tea. Well, Steve's I should say. Steve isn't picky, he's just particular and he's having to learn to expand his list of foods.

For instance, I made chicken alfredo the other day. Full fat alfredo sauce is naturally low carb (ragu makes the lowest carb sauce I've found so far). Paired with some chicken and broccoli, that's an ideal meal for regardless of my 'diet.' We bother really wanted some noodles. I came across a low carb recipe website that recommended julienning yellow squash, sauteeing it in butter and using them as noodles. Can we say delish? Steve said they remind him of chinese noodles. So now he's willing to eat sauteed yellow squash which is a big yay for since I love squash.

Coming back from that tangent (I'm the queen of tangents)I am not giving up on the exercising. I've just had to be realistic. Completely overwhelming myself is a recipe for failure. So the goal is start this coming Monday.

As I was writing this, I had an idea. Instead of being point on food and exercise, I'm going to delegate the exercising to Steve and have him be in charge. That way, we're both bearing the load. Now I just have to tell him. :)

Wishing you a great Thursday.

~Amy

Roll With It

Going on a diet isn't just eating different and exercising, it's a life style change. Emphasis on 'life.' Change is hard. We Americans don't take kindly to change. We like things the they are and don't see the need to mix things up. Maybe it's our Puritan heritage.

Life comes at you, though. You make plans, things change, so you have to learn to adapt. You can't let it get you down. Sometimes, you may need to lick your wounds for a bit. We're not souless robots. (Well, YOU are.) However, if you really want something, don't be discouraged. Things happen. It doesn't mean it's the end.

Me? I was supposed to start my exercise regimen yesterday. Due to circumstances, it didn't happen. No biggie. I'm rolling with it. Today is another day that I'm blessed to be here and it's just as good a day to exercise as yesterday.

For those of you who exercise everyday (you know who you are) this may not seem like a big deal for you. When you have spent your life one way for soooo long, it can be extremely difficult to do a 180. Going from a sedantary life, eating whatever you like to one of purposeful activity and dietary disipline is no small thing.

I know I can do this. I look at what my life is now. I look at what I want it to be. I can't keep doing what I've spent the past 10 years doing.

Bah! It isn't easy. However, it isn't going to get me down. Life, that it. My mom always told me that I can do whatever I set my mind to. It's something I tell my girls. I not only can do this, I will.

So I'm rolling with it. Actually, rolling is pretty easy right now since I'm so round. Yeah, that was a fat joke. Feel free to laugh.

~Amy

Mnnn... Salad

A common misconception about Atkins is that you eat steak, eggs and bacon and nothing else. That is soooo not true. During the first 2 weeks, Induction, you are limited to 20 carbs a day. Fifteen of those carbs are to come from dark, leafy veggies and the like. That means lots of salads.

You're not limited to lettuce. I just had a salad with spring mix, baby spinach, full fat shredded cheddar, grilled chicken and ranch dressing. I'll typically have cucumbers, bacon (bacon makes everything better), crumbled hard boiled egg and some ranch dressing. As you can see, this is a meal and it's very filling.

If you're thinking of giving the low carb lifestyle a go, this is a good time. A cold, crisp salad on a hot day is so much more satisfying than on a cold day. Especially if you're not much of a salad person. I personally love veggies so this isn't a hinderance for me. Steve isn't quite so enamored but he's doing a stellar job is eating what needs to be eaten.

Alright, off to blow bubbles with Claire.

Amy

The Best Laid Plans

How many times in life do you try, only to get knocked down... and down... and down... If you can't relate to what I'm saying, please leave a comment below because I would love to hear from someone who's life is all aces.

Things don't always turnout the way that we hope. However, we can't give up. We have to keep going.

I had made some pretty grand plans this summer that involved making cupcakes and selling them at a local farmer's market. Unfortunately, someone beat me to the punch and paid the registration fee to sell the same thing. This particular FM not being an advocate of a free market, I can no longer sell my product there.

Oh, well. I spent my afternoon sulking and licking my wounds. Now, I'm on to better and brighter things. Trying to lose weight and selling cupcakes... perhaps that isn't one of my best ideas. So I already have something cooking (No, that isn't a cupcake pun.) and I'm doing some research.

Hope you're having a fantastic weekend,

Amy

New Youtube Video

Eats for 5/19/2011

If you're interested in buying Atkins products, Walgreens is having a two for the price of one sale.

Woke up: Had an Atkins shake. Steve and I agree that the vanilla is best. The chocolate is meh.
Breakfast: spinach omelette with Gorgonzola cheese and bacon
Lunch: spring salad with spinach, shredded cheddar and crumbled egg with ranch dressing.
Snack: 1 Atkins chocolate coconut bar.
Dinner: taco salad with out the tortilla bowl.

Taco salad:
For one serving
-1 cup spring salad mix
-1 cup chopped up baby spinach
-1/4 thinly sliced cucumber
-1/4 chopped avocado
- shredded cheddar cheese
- ground beef seasoned with chopped cilantro, lime juice, salt, pepper and cumin to taste.
- broke up 1/4 corn tortilla and fried it in some veggie oil to add a little texture and crunchiness.
Toss the ingredients. Steve topped his with sour cream. I used Italian dressing.

 It's important to make sure that you're measuring the serving size. One serving of the dressing is 2 tablespoons at 4 carbs. Italian dressing isn't something I will use regularly but it did add a nice flavor.

Whole Fat Dairy Is the Best

I know. I sound like a crazy woman. After so many years of it being pounded into us that we must eat low fat dairy to be healthy, it seems counterintuitive. For several decades, American nutritionists have been saying that whole fat dairy raises our LDL, the bad kind of cholesteral, while making us fatter.

Dr. Atkins maintained for decades that this thinking was wrong. That putting fat in our bodies does not in fact make us fat. To me, it's always made sense. For thousands of years, humans have consumed whole fat dairy and they were smaller then us! Our bodies are made for it. It's more filling which staves off hunger.

Today, I came across an article that talks about the low fat dairy vs high fat dairy by Paul John Scott. Apparently, LDL cholesteral has four varieties and dairy fat "affects only the large, fluffy kind of LDL—the benign kind." Low fat dairy has also been shown to cause weight gain. *GASP* What's that, you say? The milk flavored water you've been putting in your Wheaties has been causing me weight gain? Amy! You ARE a crazy lady.

Not so. You know those tiny, little French women who eat croissants and drink coffee that'll put hair your chest? They get about 36% of their daily fat intake from whole fat dairy. They are healthier than us, they are skinnier than us. The obesity rate in France is 10% as opposed to 34% in America. Granted, that number has been rising steadily in past years but only because more and more French are picking up the unhealthy eating habits of the Americans.

Here's something to curl your toes. A typical French breakfast consists of a whole wheat cereal, no sugar added, with whole milk. They then top it off with a dollop of cream. How many dieticians here in the grand ole USA would be screaming in horror? Here's another thing. Lunch and dinner are all finished with the cheese course. They eat about an ounce of whole fat cheese. What does all of this fat do? It keeps hunger way between meals. They don't snack. They also have a very healthy relationship with food which I'll address in another blog post.

Getting back to skim milk, when I read what they have to do to it to make it look appetizing, my stomach did a little flip. "...a chalky, bluish-white liquid into your coffee? That's the color many nonfat milks are before powdered milk is added to whiten them—a process that brings its own problems. Any way you look at it, there's been a lot of whitewashing of skim milk's image." Do you want to drink blue milk? It might interest your kids but that seems just plain gross to me.

During my weight loss I can't drink milk, whole or otherwise. An 8 oz glass of milk contains 12 grams of carbs due to the lactose. Once I get to where I need to be, I can have a glass of whole fat milk. However, I am encouraged to use cream in my tea (I don't drink coffee), put cheese in my salads, snack on an ounce or two of full fat cheese if I need to, use full fat sour cream as a topping on my omelettes, cook my eggs (with yolk) in butter and you know what? The people who do this way of eating don't keel over from heart attacks. They're actually quite healthy.  It can be pretty rich at first and the conversion between skim or low fat dairy can take a while since the taste is different.

Please take a look at this article and tell me what you think. Can you see yourself making the switch?

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/is-skim-milk-making-you-fat-2479492/

Have a great day and I hope to hear from you.

The Indomitable Amy

Meals 5/16/2011

We made a huge mistake and skipped lunch today. Big no no. Not that it was intentional. It just happened. We were both so hungry, we both ended up eating something we shouldn't. Steve, a handful of chex cereal and me a couple spoonfuls of rice I made for this kids. That won't be happening again.

Breakfast was two eggs and 3 slices of bacon.
Dinner was kickin lime chicken with a spring salad.

Monday Monday

Monday's are usually such a blah day, don't you think? I'll be the first to agree that Mondays, Monday mornings to be exact, aren't the best time of the week. Really, who wants to roll out of bed? Then again, I've never been much of a morning person to begin with.  haha

I'm actually excited and happy this Monday morning. After such a wet and gloomy weekend, the sun is out and not a cloud to be seen! I can get some work done in the yard and Bear Bear and I can go for a walk.

That's not why I'm excited, though. (Although sunshine is always a reason to be happy.) Today is the big day. Operation Health and Fitness is now in full swing. (I totally just made that name up.) I'm feeling pretty confidant about all of this. Of course it isn't going to be easy. I didn't gain a whole bunch of weight over night so I'm not going lose it in a day. I relish the challenge, though. This is an opportunity to make a turnaround. Mind, body, and spirit. Sounds like a cliche, doesn't it? Yeah, I'm a walking cliche. Not really, but cliche's do exist for a reason.

Steve and I will be doing our weekly weigh in and measurements today which will be posted here. We'll be taking our before pics and keep an eye out for a video as well.

I am off to make breakfast. Can't go wrong with eggs and bacon. I LOVE lowcarbing it.

If you haven't already seen this, take a gander. It explains some of what I'm doing.


Have a great and fruitful Monday,

The Indomitable Amy